A five lightbulb kind of day

As this dark and miserable winter drags on I continue to search the depths of my soul for that inner light that tells me this horrible, depressing funk will someday lift and there will be brighter days ahead in the spring. Wallowing in self-pitty I am reminded of a funny statement I once noticed either on a bumper sticker or a sign in someone's place of business which read, "Due to the current circumstances, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until further notice." I did get my head out of the funk long enough today to realize almost everyone around me was in a very similar funk. This time of year I especially hate the whole of the Ohio Valley for it's foul weather. Dark depressing winters and summers of oppressive heat, 90% humidity and dead still air; this valley has made me hate two seasons I had always loved. In my mind, the darkness and humidity were incidental and occasional accompaniments to otherwise wonderful seasons yet somehow, in this valley, these traits completely define them. I think I'll sprinkle some vitamin D pills onto a map and wherever the capsules land I'll look in to moving there.

On the way home from work today I stopped at the hardware store and bought two more clamp lamps for my full spectrum light bulbs. With the window blinds completely open and a total of five full spectrum, 100watt bulbs shining down on me, I sat on the couch, picked up my needles and yarn, turned on a podcast du jour, and pretended like hell that it was sunny outside. My brain didn't totally fall for the trick I must say I started to feel a lot better.

The knitting reminded me again of when my sister and I discovered friendship bracelets and how we loved making them. Through the years I have made a few purely for the sake of doing it; the theraputic and rewarding sensation of tediously crafting by hand. It is that I'm a little bit OCD and a little bit fucked in the head that my focus should be drawn to the tedious, repetitious tasks of making friendship bracelets, knitting, and crocheting. Don't get me started on the long history of my obsession with touch-typing. I'm comfortable with my need to do; the need to keep my hands busy making something wonderful and warm and pretty, stitch by stitch, knot by knot, over and over again.

Wool came in the mail today from Knit Picks and another scarf began. Today is the day that I can announce with absolute certainty, "I have become one of those knitters" There are 6 UFOs in my closet, neatly tucked in plastic bags; a bin of needles in every size and material, including circulars; 6 drawers of yarn, enough for two sweaters and numerous other planned projects; hooks of all sizes, a full shelf of pattern and technique books; and a kit bag with every possible accoutrement. Did I mention the wool that arrived in the mail today? To think I used to laugh at the sickness.

What I need is a boyfriend, or a cat. The sun'll come out, Tomorrow!

I took 45 minutes to write this junk

My best friend recently suggested I give her one or two of my finished scarves since I have a pile of them in my closet that I never wear but am too proud of to give up. I sent her shopping on my flicker account to pick one out. She emailed her request and mentioned that her 16 year old son, Zane, had been ogling one of my hats as she clicked through my knitting photos. I was taken aback from the compliment as I never expected a teenage boy to give a crap about looking through photos of hand knits much less want one of the items. The hat in question, I'm sure, is too small for his head; it's too small for the man I knit it for and my own as well. Wanting to fulfill Zane's wish, I told my friend that I could knit one for him. In true ADD fashion, I believed I could knit this hat in two days, three at the most and send it off with the scarf to my friend. As some of you may know, ADD folks tend to have a lot of difficulty realistically gauging the time it takes to complete a task. Anyway, I'm on week number two now (progress pic attached) but have not worked on the hat every day. The hat that was completed last year is going to get frogged because some of the yarn is needed for the new one and I want to be rid of the reminder that I spent time on a lovely-to-look-at item that doesn't fit anyone I know.

Today I found an entertaining podcast called Answer Me This! I've listened to four episodes now and quite enjoy it. You can check it out here or find it on iTunes. The hosts are quick-witted and often hilarious as they answer listener questions about.....well...anything. It reminded of the commercials for the cell phone, questions/answer, texting thing called KGB in a half-hour program format (with better questions). I also subscribed to a podcast called Grammar Girl. I figure that if I re-learn the rules of grammar and punctuation I won't have to spend so much time thinking about all the mistakes I don't know how to fix; I can spend the time concentrating on avoiding the over-use of "I" and maintaining the proper tense throughout.

Fashion jeans and snack cakes

Valentines Day? I've been trying my damnedest to glimps the back of my head all weekend.

Brace yourselves, its gonna be a long' un and I ain't doing the proof-reading until tomorrow.

Friday's work started with some really sad news as I walked through the door to my office. It then moved on to some really angering news which led to feelings of guilt, got boring for a bit and then ended with a dull thud. All-in-all I was happy to see the weekend as I had planned to not think about work and not feel guilty about not being there, at work. Came home and re-discovered Sade on iTunes. When I was in grade school, a friend and I used to pull our scalp back as tight as we could on our heads and sing "you give me the sweetest taboo" through our noses to see who would laugh the hardest. If you know Sade, I needn't further explain. Anyway, I was curious to hear her now and poked through the samples only to fall slightly in love. She truly has an amazing voice, a very unique style, a great story, and honest-to-God talent.

Saturday was a much needed Me day. I enjoyed my coffee while listening to some of my favorite shows on public radio all morning, changed the bedclothes and planned my afternoon. Somewhere between casing the pillows and covering the duvet, I had developed a strong need to purchase a porcelain, Queen Anne tea pot and matching cups and saucers. Quickly talking myself down from this idiotic notion, I settled on just the shopping portion and not the actual buying. Believe it or not, I found such a teapot, cups and saucers; they are still at the store. I didn't leave all the stores empty handed though.

Fancying a pair of jeans with a little more shape and style than what I have I searched through the denim in the mens department. Reading the fit charts for each style, I got irritated with finding all the seemingly flattering cuts ended with those damn boot-cut legs that make me look like the back half of a Clydesdale. Skinny jeans and Slim Fit were everywhere and I decided to give in to temptation so that I could at least say I tried. I almost fell over in the dressing room as I zipped them up and realized they looked fantastic! Now, I'm not talking fantastic like when I was in high school and "imagined" fashion jeans looked great on me, these ACTUALLY look great on me.

After the jeans incident on Saturday night, things were going so well that it seemed a good idea to go to Wal-Mart for a thermal carafe. MY GOD! That is all I have to say about Wal-Mart.

The crazy Benetton hat that I knit a few months ago turned up in a drawer and I remembered it needed to be blocked. After soaking it in warm water, gentle stretching and molding made it look like a real hat rather than a yurt. The interesting thing was that the yarn stunk like a home perm when it was wet. As I recall, I had a store-bought sweater vest in a straw color similar to that of the hand made hat and when I soaked the sweater in water it stunk too. I'm wondering if it has to do with the chemical dye used to create the light brown heather color.

Sunday kicked me out of bed and I went to Kai's parent's house to enjoy a casual, lazy breakfast by the fireplace. Food always tastes best in the morning when it is made by someone else and served in way that encourages grazing. Mimosas on the big leather sofa were divine.

Lastly, a confession. This week I have indulged in all four varieties of Hostess Zingers, a few Reece's peanut butter eggs, a Pepperidge Farm 3-layer cake, two lemon-raspberry sponges, a container of ice cream, a cup of liquid chocolate, and a snack sized bag of potato chips. I just can't believe I ate those potato chips.

Circumstantial enlightenment

Last night I dreamt I was being chased by an angry Pantone color chart. This past week I've been rather forced to choose a paint scheme of three colors to be applied to the interiors of a commercial space (my place of work). I have no trouble visualizing the final product in my head but my brain shuts down as I pour over the thousands of color chips, charts, and samples. This, not to mention thoughts of company branding, historic identity, and the life cycle of a modern, commercial image. By the way, did you know that stunning copper brown turns into hideous burnt orange when placed next to apple green? Monday morning will find me placing a call to a professional interior designer.

Forcing my mind to open up and play with color in a new way is thrilling though I could do without the pressure at work to make design decisions. I look forward to a new way of combining colors in my knitting. Shopping for wools with a better knowledge of color theory will be fun and I'm hoping a little more fruitful as I won't have to rely so heavily on others to create the obvious color combination for me.

The new look of this page is due in part to my recent schooling. In a previous post I mentioned the need for photo editing software or a new camera. Turns out, at least on my screen, that changing the background has corrected the washed out appearance of my pictures. I also like how the blue and orange text now look backlit. I guess washed out colors wash out colors so I'm glad to get rid of the light gray.