A five lightbulb kind of day

As this dark and miserable winter drags on I continue to search the depths of my soul for that inner light that tells me this horrible, depressing funk will someday lift and there will be brighter days ahead in the spring. Wallowing in self-pitty I am reminded of a funny statement I once noticed either on a bumper sticker or a sign in someone's place of business which read, "Due to the current circumstances, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off until further notice." I did get my head out of the funk long enough today to realize almost everyone around me was in a very similar funk. This time of year I especially hate the whole of the Ohio Valley for it's foul weather. Dark depressing winters and summers of oppressive heat, 90% humidity and dead still air; this valley has made me hate two seasons I had always loved. In my mind, the darkness and humidity were incidental and occasional accompaniments to otherwise wonderful seasons yet somehow, in this valley, these traits completely define them. I think I'll sprinkle some vitamin D pills onto a map and wherever the capsules land I'll look in to moving there.

On the way home from work today I stopped at the hardware store and bought two more clamp lamps for my full spectrum light bulbs. With the window blinds completely open and a total of five full spectrum, 100watt bulbs shining down on me, I sat on the couch, picked up my needles and yarn, turned on a podcast du jour, and pretended like hell that it was sunny outside. My brain didn't totally fall for the trick I must say I started to feel a lot better.

The knitting reminded me again of when my sister and I discovered friendship bracelets and how we loved making them. Through the years I have made a few purely for the sake of doing it; the theraputic and rewarding sensation of tediously crafting by hand. It is that I'm a little bit OCD and a little bit fucked in the head that my focus should be drawn to the tedious, repetitious tasks of making friendship bracelets, knitting, and crocheting. Don't get me started on the long history of my obsession with touch-typing. I'm comfortable with my need to do; the need to keep my hands busy making something wonderful and warm and pretty, stitch by stitch, knot by knot, over and over again.

Wool came in the mail today from Knit Picks and another scarf began. Today is the day that I can announce with absolute certainty, "I have become one of those knitters" There are 6 UFOs in my closet, neatly tucked in plastic bags; a bin of needles in every size and material, including circulars; 6 drawers of yarn, enough for two sweaters and numerous other planned projects; hooks of all sizes, a full shelf of pattern and technique books; and a kit bag with every possible accoutrement. Did I mention the wool that arrived in the mail today? To think I used to laugh at the sickness.

What I need is a boyfriend, or a cat. The sun'll come out, Tomorrow!